But over exaggerated straight porn, especially with an excessively dominating guy tends to turn me on. When I watch porn, I’ve always found lesbian porn unrealistic. I’d want to feel slutty or used and trashed, sort of like the “power” aspect that’s associated with masculinity. They tend to be violent and some to be borderline rape, things I know I wouldn’t want in real life. I’m very attracted sexually to women, and her especially, but sometimes, when I think about hardcore fantasies, they’re usually about faceless men, completely sexually. We’ve been together almost two years, and even though we’re young I’m head over heels in love. Some time later, I started dating my current girlfriend. Being a lesbian was “wrong,” so to speak, and disgusting. I came out as bisexual, because I thought I was at the time as accepting myself as gay was a step that was too hard to take (not trashing bi girls at all, I’m dating one right now, this is just a personal experience) Being Indian, I guess somewhere I was homophobic internally.
Trust me, I tried to be “straight.” I thought I did, but soon realised it was more of admiration, there was no attraction per say. I’ve never had a celebrity crush on a man, or really been attracted to guys around me. I had a massive crush on my best friend, and had been very attracted to girls for as long as I could remember. Two years ago, I started to come to terms with my sexuality and liking girls.
